he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
