halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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