So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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