Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Two words: blizzard sex
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
