I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
