Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
