I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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