The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
