At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
