I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
