Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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