what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
