Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
