You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
