everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
