Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
