Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
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