let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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