I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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