So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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