Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
