so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
