You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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