i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
