apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
