I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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