Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
