My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
