the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
