Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
