Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
