She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
