we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
