we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So many bounce houses so little time
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
