he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
