Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
