Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
