We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
