i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
