Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
