he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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