I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
God I need to hump something, right now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
