I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
