i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
