I want to stick my p in your. b.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
