I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
