took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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