Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
