I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
