North Korea, Best Korea!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize