At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sorry about my life...
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